This is the trailer that was released by the Joker himself in his WhySoSerious viral marketing campaign.

Shrek 3

• Shrek, now married to Fiona, is large and happy and care free.
• Oh no Fiona wants to have kids!
• Fiona’s dad the king dies and Shrek doesn’t want to be king.
• Shrek goes on a quest to find heir to the throne.
• Prince Charming does something corny in an ironic manner.
• Shrek saves the day, new king replaces old one, Shrek has kids.
• Movie is horribly gay.

4/10

Spiderman 3
A comet falls to earth with a glob of evil chocolate pudding and coincidentally attaches itself to Mr. Peter Parker (aka Spiderman) and makes him stronger and classier. While this is happening the man who shot Peter’s uncle coincidentally falls into a pit of sand just as a team of hot female scientists press the “fuse molecules button” which causes the guy to become a sand monster. Peter for some reason ditches the chocolate pudding alien (aka Venom) and it coincidentally attaches itself to Peter’s photographer rival. Also I should mention that Harry (aka the Green Goblin) is in the movie for a few minutes. Then there is a big fight where Harry dies, Venom explodes into nothingness (???), and Spiderman and the Sandman become chill bros even though the Sandman killed his uncle and beat the everloving shit out of him.

9/10

Pirates Of The Caribbean 3
Of all the Pirates movies the second one was by far the coolest because it had a giant kraken that ate ships whole. This movie did not have said kraken and thus was not as good. This movie did however have an incredibly long boat fight in a whirlpool and minorities. Jack Sparrow gets rescued from Davy Jone’s locker and rallies up all the big time pirates in the world to get together and stop a short evil British man from killing all the pirates. The Jamaican lady from the other movies turns out to be a goddess imprisoned by the pirates of yesteryear and the new group of pirate lords frees her and she vanishes into tiny crabs. The pirates defeat the British, everyone high fives, Orlando Bloom becomes the new Davy Jones and can only diddle Keira Knightley once every 10 years, and they set up the plot to a 4th movie about the fountain of youth.

9/10

“Why would he do that? Because he’s a lummox, isn’t he? Well we shall have a magnificent garden party and you’re not invited! ”