Essentially they just garbled Borat and Zoolander together and threw in some brown people. Adam Sandler plays the role of an Israeli counter terrorist commando who fakes his death and flees to America to live out his dream of giving flabby Jewish grandmothers 1980 hairstyles. Several Jew jokes later he finds work at a Palestinian hair salon and falls in love with the owner. Oh the irony, the hilariously unexpected irony. Sandler does some flips and there are a few hummus jokes here and there but for the most part nothing happens for the entire middle chunk of the movie. Rob Schneider makes his very first cameo appearance in an Adam Sandler movie ever and plays a Palestinian cab driver seeking revenge on Zohan for stealing his goat years ago in Israel. Schneider enlists the help of Zohan’s old terrorist rival, The Phantom, to thwart Zohan at a hacky sack match and destroy his hair salon.


For no reason whatsoever Mariah Carey shows up, plugs her new album, spends about 3 minutes on screen doing nothing, then is forgotten. The Phantom turns out to be the brother of the moderately attractive Palestinian owner of Zohan’s hair salon and the Israeli and Palestinian Americans are able to reconcile their differences and focus their attention on beating up Dave Matthews and his band of rednecks. Zohan and The Phantom’s sister get married and the thriving Middle Eastern community the Israeli and Palestinian Americans built together gets turned into a mega-mall.

6/10

“Middle Eastern? No no no. I’m half Australian, half Mt. Everest.”